Masks

Last night I owned up to the fact that I've been living behind a mask since I was 12 to my wonderful husband. I have been ashamed of some things in my past and terrified that he would leave, if he ever knew. Growing up, I was shamed for bad decisions and I have let that carry into my adult life. I am so thankful that God finally pushed me enough to tell him every last detail of my life. Growing up, there were so many secrets in my family. I accepted that as the norm, until I realized it was making me emotionally sick. We are meant to carry each other's burdens. There is a reason God wants us in relationships. My thankful list: 31. Grace when that is probably the last thing I deserved. 32. God tapping me on the shoulder and encouraging me, until I felt like I was going to explode if I didn't tell my husband everything. 33. The amazing peace I have felt today. I am not sure I've ever felt anything like it. 34. Hubby unexpectedly coming home early from work. 35. A contract on our house in Louisiana! 36. Hubby getting an offer on a permanent position here in Texas! 37. Only one more month of paying Cobra! 38. Our oldest having a fabulous time at a youth retreat this past weekend and making some new friends. 39. Trying out a small group from church and feeling like we belonged there. 40. Long talks with my brother.