I read a description the other day of a coffee cup that looks beautiful and whole and flawless, but when hot coffee was poured into the cup, it shattered. That's how I feel these days. I smile. I laugh, sometimes a little too loud, because if I'm laughing, I'm not crying.
I'm sitting in a coffee shop alone, because I needed a break and I am struggling to hold in tears, because I'm alone! It's crazy! I told my doctor that I'm depressed & she said "You don't looked depressed!". She said I was smiling, laughing and joking. Have you ever heard "Fake it till you make it?". That's what I was taught growing up. I was told that other people have it much worse than I do. That is very true, but when did life become a scorecard? I don't believe that is how life is meant to be lived. Keeping score. What a joke!
What are your thoughts on keeping score of the good & bad that life brings your way?
21. A beautiful 16 month old baby girl that just started telling me "I love you!".
22. A 13 year old boy that still thinks its cool to hug his momma.
23. An 11 year old girl that comes to me about everything.
24. A 4 year old girl that is full of hugs & energy.
25. A hubby that let me escape to the coffee shop for some alone time.
26. That same hubby cooking supper while I am gone.
27. An iced snickers coffee with whipped cream and chocolate toppings.
28. A nice, big, comfy chair to relax in.
29. Crosses hanging on the wall right in front of me. Reminding me of Christ's love.
30. A beautiful home that is loud and filled with laughter.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
I received a copy of Mercy Come Morning by Waterbrook Multnomah in exchange of an honest review of the book. This book is about a lady named Krista that returned home to try to repair her relationship with her mother when she found out she was dying of congested heart failure. Her mother has Alzheimer's and is unable to talk. This was a beautiful story about grace, forgiveness, love and mercy. The relationships portrayed are broken, but become whole again in the story. Krista and her high school sweetheart work through the past and get over hurts together. The story was very predictable, but beautiful at the same time. It was a quick, easy read. I would recommend this book to anyone that would love to see relationships repaired and how God fixes us along the journey.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
Before our move to Texas, I just thought I was really alive and enjoying life. Since the move, God has placed people in my lives to open up my eyes wide and really see the world for the beautiful place it is. There's that friend that gives me a hug, when I don't even realize I need one. That friend that says I've been there and it's ok to feel the way that you feel. That friend that asks how I'm doing and really wants to know. That friend that doesn't settle for the answer "I'm ok". There's that friend that asks "How can I pray for you?" and really means it. There's that friend that texts and says "I'm sorry I haven't been a great encourager this week", when she has a million reasons to not worry about other friends. There's that friend that asks if she can stop by to talk for 5 minutes. There's that friend that stands at her door and talks for an hour when needed. There's that friend that texts me to tell me she's proud of me and would take me out for a coke, if she was in town. Wonderful, eye opening colors that fill my world these days. God is so good and gives so much more than we could ever think to ask for. Vivid colors that fill my life and my heart to overflowing. STOP
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I'm just a little late(17 days, if we're counting), but I wanted to share my one word for 2012. I don't do resolutions. Occasionally I'll do short term goals, but I don't like resolutions. They've been the same almost every year for the last almost 20 years, so I feel like making resolutions is setting myself up for failure. I do love one word to focus on for the year, though. My word for this year is COURAGE. I've lived a lot of my life scared. Scared of not being accepted. Scared of ridicule. Scared of not being loved. Scared of failing. Scared of broken relationships. Scared of people that I love dying. Scared of pursuing my dreams. As I started thinking about something I wanted to focus on and change about myself this year, the word fear kept coming to mind. 2 Timothy 1:7 says For God gave us not a spirit of fearfulness; but of power and love and discipline. So, if God does not want us to be fearful, I need to change that! I will be working on that this year and also working on cultivating an attitude of gratitude. I am starting my list of 1000 gifts on this post. I am thankful for: 1. A baby walking out of the room with an empty bowl on her face after eating popcorn. 2. Three of my kids looking for the fourth one that is hiding(playing hide and seek). 3. The sound of the dishwasher, washing dishes from a warm lunch. 4. The sunlight streaming in through my bathroom window. 5. My fourth child laughing loudly, because she was found. 6. An unexpected phone call from my brother this morning. 7. My mother in law blessing me with a huge, beautiful, expensive framed picture to go over my mantle. 8. My mother in law helping me to decorate my mantle, since I have no decorating sense. 9. A huge pile of clean clothes and towels that are overflowing the basket onto my bedroom floor, because that means we are blessed with clothing. 10. New friends in a homeschool group here in Texas. They have sure helped me not feel as lonely.
I have to start this by saying that I had never read anything by Kay Arthur before. A friend of mine read this book and enjoyed it, so I decided to give it a try. In the beginning of the book, she mentions that God will never give you more than you could handle. I have to be honest, I completely disagree with that statement. The Bible says that God will never give you more temptation than you can handle, not that He will not give you more than you can handle. He does give us more than we can handle, so that we will lean on Him. After reading that statement, I did not want to read the book. I had to read it, though, because I agreed to read it and write a review. After getting into the book, I absolutely loved it. There was so much scripture and sound advice. I have struggled with us moving this year and the news about my brother being sick and this book really helped put a different perspective on everything. Mrs. Arthur states that every trial that comes our way is filtered through God's hands with love. How beautiful is that picture? Knowing that He lovingly uses trials to shape us. I have had a hard time understanding trials for most of my adult life. I was taught by a pastor that I sat under for years that everything good comes from God and everything bad comes from the devil. That doesn't line up with the Bible and was very confusing. I am thankful for books like As Silver Refined that are helping me understand trials. I would recommend this to friends that are going through any kind of trial in their life. Whether your trial is a job loss, loss of a loved one, loss of a relationship, etc. This book is very helpful in understanding that those trials are there for a purpose. I received this book for free from Waterbrook Multnomah in exchange of an honest review.