So, today we are in the car headed home after Thanksgiving in Louisiana. If I could use one word to describe how I feel right now it would be thankful. Very, very thankful. I am thankful that my brother was there to be with us for Thanksgiving. I am sad that he felt too bad to eat. I am sad that he looked like he was hurting. I am very thankful that he was there and I was able to give him a big hug. I am thankful that we were able to spend some time with my mom, aunts & grandmother. I am thankful they are all still here.
On our way into town, we got the news that one of Ernie's stepmom's brother's had passed away that morning. He was sick and had been sick for a long time. I have no doubt that he's in a better place, but there was a sense of sadness when Shirley & her siblings lined up for a family picture. Every time we snap a picture, I am reminded of the fact that we don't take enough pictures. My memory is terrible, so I am thankful for pictures. The kids were happy to spend time with family that we don't see near often enough. The city girl in me was a wreck when my kids went out into the woods out of my sight, but it worked out. I enjoyed the visiting and am now enjoying some quiet as we are driving back home.
Every time we leave Louisiana, I have such mixed feelings. I love where we are now & love the new friendships and the church we are visiting. I'm saddened that there wasn't enough time to see everyone I wanted to see. The people pleaser in me wants to make sure we see everyone, so no one has hurt feelings. It robs me of joy, though, because I can't be fully there with anyone. I'm too busy thinking about what else we have to go and do.
I am so thankful to be going back to my safe place. The place where I am the most comfortable. The place where I feel like grace meets me. God is such a gracious and loving Father. I am so thankful for the changes he has brought about in our lives over the last six months. So, instead of crying, because it might be my brother's last Thanksgiving, I'm choosing joy. I'm noticing the beautiful sky, perfect temperatures, the crunch of the leaves on the ground and I am saying thank you, Father for loving me and blessing me!