Tiny Prints Christmas Cards

Last month, I went to my first blogging event. Tiny Prints hosted a party for area bloggers to showcase their new items. When I started thinking about Christmas cards, we searched all over the internet trying to find a card that we fell in love with. We were looking for one that really captured what life is all about to us and didn't just have a space for 1-3 pictures. Tiny Prints came through for us on this aspect! We chose Counted Blessings because it really seemed to capture us and I loved being able to show several pictures. I love the style, the colors and everything about this card. One of my highlights of the holiday season is receiving Christmas cards in the mail. I love seeing pictures of my family and friends and love seeing my kids faces light up when they see real mail, instead of junk! We love displaying Christmas cards on the bar in the kitchen, so we can look at them while doing dishes or cleaning up the kitchen. If you are considering ordering Christmas cards for your family, Tiny Prints is a fabulous company with great customer service! I highly recommend them!

Thankful in all circumstances

So, today we are in the car headed home after Thanksgiving in Louisiana. If I could use one word to describe how I feel right now it would be thankful. Very, very thankful. I am thankful that my brother was there to be with us for Thanksgiving. I am sad that he felt too bad to eat. I am sad that he looked like he was hurting. I am very thankful that he was there and I was able to give him a big hug. I am thankful that we were able to spend some time with my mom, aunts & grandmother. I am thankful they are all still here.

On our way into town, we got the news that one of Ernie's stepmom's brother's had passed away that morning. He was sick and had been sick for a long time. I have no doubt that he's in a better place, but there was a sense of sadness when Shirley & her siblings lined up for a family picture. Every time we snap a picture, I am reminded of the fact that we don't take enough pictures. My memory is terrible, so I am thankful for pictures. The kids were happy to spend time with family that we don't see near often enough. The city girl in me was a wreck when my kids went out into the woods out of my sight, but it worked out. I enjoyed the visiting and am now enjoying some quiet as we are driving back home.

Every time we leave Louisiana, I have such mixed feelings. I love where we are now & love the new friendships and the church we are visiting. I'm saddened that there wasn't enough time to see everyone I wanted to see. The people pleaser in me wants to make sure we see everyone, so no one has hurt feelings. It robs me of joy, though, because I can't be fully there with anyone. I'm too busy thinking about what else we have to go and do.

I am so thankful to be going back to my safe place. The place where I am the most comfortable. The place where I feel like grace meets me. God is such a gracious and loving Father. I am so thankful for the changes he has brought about in our lives over the last six months. So, instead of crying, because it might be my brother's last Thanksgiving, I'm choosing joy. I'm noticing the beautiful sky, perfect temperatures, the crunch of the leaves on the ground and I am saying thank you, Father for loving me and blessing me!

Transparent...

Being transparent is my goal. I think it is so important to me, because there are many people in my life that if you asked me what they are like, my honest response would be that I can tell you what they want other people to think they are like. I want people to know the real me and know what to expect when they come into contact with me. This year has been a tough one for me, but honestly, it has also been one of my bests! There have been many mountains & valleys. But when the mask has been removed, I am broken, but my Father is putting the pieces back together. My Father is allowing me to be broken, because in my weakness, He is strong. When I am at my lowest, He is the highest. I am growing closer to Him. I can be sure that He is going to carry me through this. I am thankful for every trial that He uses to make me the person that He wants me to be. I pray that He will show me ways to minister and help others as they suffer trials on this earth.

Just breathe...

Today is one of those days when I'm reminding myself to take slow, deep breaths and to relax. I have dealt with anxiety induced chest pains when feeling overwhelmed for years. Today is the first time in about 10 years that I've wondered if I need to go to the emergency room, which of course, makes it worse. I want to pull the covers over my head and not answer my phone or come out, until absolutely necessary.

Can you relate? How do you fight those feelings?

Life, In Spite of Me: Extraordinary Hope After a Fatal Choice by Kristen Anderson with Tricia Goyer

Kristen was seventeen years old when she decided she had had enough of this world. She had had enough pain, disappointment and sadness in her life and decided she was done. She laid down in front of a train coming, trying to end her life. On that horrible night, she thought she was done with this life and knew what was best for her, but God had bigger plans. She was held down by God and only lost her legs and a lot of blood that night. She had a long, painful journey ahead of her, but God was with her every step of the way.

The story is told very straightforward with a lot of encouragement for anyone that has battled depression and discouragement. I read this book cover to cover in 5 hours. I had no desire to put it down until I read the last word. It was a beautiful story. I give it 5 stars and would definitely recommend this book to anyone that has felt discouraged and/or hopeless.

I was given this book for free by Waterbrook Multnomah to read and give an honest review.

The Gratitude Project Day 3!

Today, the thing I am most thankful for is my God. My Daddy, my Heavenly Father, my strength, my fortress, my strong tower. I could go on and on about what He is to me.

I'm going to get real, because real is what I am. If you don't want to read personal things, you might want to stop. :). Don't say I didn't warn you! This year has been tough. When I say tough, I mean tough. I think it is probably the toughest year I've ever had. Ernie changed jobs, we relocated 300ish miles from home and we found out my 31 year old brother has stage IV pancreatic cancer that has spread to his brain. Let me tell you, if ever I have felt like someone ripped my heart out of my chest, it was when I heard those words.

I have wrestled with depression off and on since I was a teenager. After my Daddy died unexpectedly, I was taken to a psychiatrist & prescribed Prozac. I had days when life was good, but most of my teenage memories have been suppressed, because I was in such a dark place. A place that felt bleak, hopeless, worthless. I have many memories of thinking that this world would be such a better place without me. I always thought that those thoughts were because I was missing my Daddy so much. Fast forward many years, I get this news about my little brother(the brother that I have always wanted to protect) & my first idea after praying, of course, was to get back on Prozac. So, I went to my GP and told him I needed something to help me get through this. I wanted something to numb this terrible heartache. He gave me the prescription for Prozac & told me it would take 4-5 weeks to kick in and for me to start feeling a difference. I made it to 3.5 or 4 weeks and guess what? Those feelings of hopelessness, despair, helplessness, worthlessness, all came rushing back to me. The thoughts that this world would be a better place if I wasn't part of it came at me like a freight train. The thoughts that I'm not strong enough to deal with this heartache and I wanted to go first were screaming at me ALL day long. I did not want to get out of bed, much less do anything more than that.

Then my Father sent sweet friends to call out of the blue and check on me. Sweet emails for no reason, other to ask how I was doing. Amazing songs would play at just the right time that explained exactly how I was feeling. He guided me to a small group in my homeschool group that is encouraging me and lifting me up in prayer. He placed books in my path to read and review that are deepening my faith.

He has reminded me through friends tweets that if I am still breathing, He still has work for me to do for His kingdom. The medication I was on was not what I needed. More of God was. He has never said that He will not give us more than we can bear, but what He has promised is that we are never alone. That gives me courage to get up and face the day. I am not alone and He has a plan for my life. He has people that I might need to speak to or hug or even just smile at. For that, I am thankful. I am thankful that He chose me as His own. I am thankful that He loves me at all times.

The Gratitude Project Day 2!

Today, I am thankful for health insurance! I took Annalee in to the pediatrician earlier this past summer, because she was having a lot of random stomach pain & her sides were hurting. Dr. Stanley ordered an xray of her stomach and the report said there was a fragment of a shotgun pellet in her intestines. He was not concerned & said it would pass. He said to bring her back, if she started complaining more often or if the pain got worse.

Fast forward about four months and she's having stomachaches & side pain again, but this time nausea is playing more of a role than the stomachaches. She's also very tired all of the time and her appetite seems to have shrunk. So, today we visited our new pediatrician. He examined her, did another stomach xray, urinalysis, CBC, checking thyroid levels, glucose, sed rate & lead levels. He suspects that she's dealing with IBS, because we have a family history of it. So, we are playing the waiting game and hoping for some kind of concrete answer, so hopefully we can get her feeling better! Thanks to health insurance, all this cost me was $15! I can't imagine the fees without insurance. Thank you, God!