Sunday, January 12, 2014

Addiction and cancer

Do you suffer with an addiction personality?  I used to think I did not have a problem with being addicted to anything, but I am.  If I do not have coke, I lose my mind.  I go through major withdrawals and I am mean!  Thankfully I am not nearly as bad, since I started drinking Spark.  

My phone.  I do not even want to talk about my phone.  I use it to text Ernie, the kids and my family.  I hardly ever talk on the phone these days, unless I have no other option.  I do not hear great, especially with kids in the background that want my attention.  My phone is with me ALL the time.  If I am a passenger in the car, I'm on my phone.  If I am up in the middle of the night with the baby, I am on my phone.  If I am in the bathroom or bathtub, I have my phone with me.  You would think I could not survive without it.  I use it for Facebook, Pinterest, texting. Dictionary, to read e-books, maps, etc.  I have gotten so dependent on it that it is ridiculous!  

Facebook is another addiction.  I am nosy, I am not going to lie.  I like seeing what my friends are doing.  I love to see the pictures.  I love being given the chance to pray for friends that I would never know needed prayer, if it was not for Facebook.  I love the uplifting posts that are shared.  There is so much positive about Facebook, but only if you keep it in balance.  With being a stay at home mom, there's very little adult interaction.  It gets lonely at times, even with 4 kids at home.  Being distracted on Facebook means that I can ignore the fact that I need to clean house and the baby does not want to be out down.  It can also bs a distraction to me when I am worried or anxious by keeping my mind occupied.  I do not have to really think or feel or process things that are bothering me.  Some people choose drugs to help dull pain and hide from their thoughts.  One of the few benefits of Facebook is hearing when we need to pray for someone.  I think I use it a lot so I do not have to think about how my heart has broken over the years and  my heart is breaking now over two people that are bravely fighting cancer.  Both of them have young teenage children and it takes me back to being 13 and losing my Dad.  Knowing the pain and devastation that they are going to face soon is heartbreaking.  Losing a parent as a teenager completely changes you.  I remember hating God for several years, because I just could not understand why he would take my Daddy away from me.  One of my high school teachers told me that he must have completed his purpose here on earth.  I remember ranting that all of the good people die too early and mean people are left here too long.  It was not very logical, but I was 15.  

Please join me in prayer for these two very special people that are fighting for their lives and their families.

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