Have you ever had a victim mentality? Have you ever thought if I had just been born into another family? If I had different parents, different grandparents, different siblings, then my life would have turned out differently. If only my parents had not divorced and had modeled what true marriage is supposed to look like.
If only my Mom had not married a man that was verbally abusive. If only my Daddy had not died the day after my 13th birthday. If only I had spent more time with my Daddy, not that the decision was mine.
If only I had picked better friends in middle school and high school. If only I had never smoked a cigarette. If only I had not made the decision to give up and drop out of school in October of my senior year, because we had several English teachers and I was doing horribly in my favorite class. Thankfully I at least got my GED. If only I had not given up on college and dropped out. If only I was not so timid and scared of being myself around other people, because if I did not like myself, how could they?
If only I had not let my brother come live with us for a little after he got out of prison. If only I had never left my children alone with him. If only I had known what signs to pick up on. If only I was not blind to him and his drug, alcohol and cough syrup addiction. If only I had the chance to put him in jail again for the things he did.
There are many if onlys that I have lived with for most if my life. I could blame my parents, my brother, my circumstances, but I am not a victim. God wants us to live in victory. I cannot live in victory, as long as I am in bondage to the past.
I blamed my weight problem on my stepdad for many years. He called me fat and told me that I had to drink diet coke, instead of coke, because I was fat. So for years, I have thought that I can drink as much coke as I want because he cannot tell me what I can and cannot drink now. My rebellion was doing nothing other than hurt me. A victim may act like a rebellious teenager. I am no longer a rebellious teenager. I feel like God wants me to walk in victory in this area of my life. My body is His temple to take care of, not something for me to destroy.
I could choose to be a victim and not accept blame in many situations in my life and I have many times. I am thankful that God has used friends to show me the error of my ways. I am glad that he uses different people to help me grow.
So are you a victim? Or do you walk with God in victory? Are you living out the victorious life that he has planned for you? Have you accepted that God allows bad things to happen to us to grow us, teach us lessons and so we will lean on him? To be honest, God is still working with me on this issue. I am so thankful for his grace and loving kindness and that he does not hit me upside the head and say, "You are doing it again!".