My Mom came by at lunch yesterday with two collages of pictures of me and my brother with our Dad that I did not realize she still had. What an act of kindness that was to put those together for me. Daddy has been gone for half of my life this year. HALF of my life!!! It does not seem possible.
As we are fasting with our church family the next couple of weeks, Joel has asked us to read through the book of John, a chapter a day. As I was reading chapter 2 the other day, where it talks about Tearing down this temple it says
18-19 But the Jews were upset. They asked, "What credentials can you present to justify this?" Jesus answered, "Tear down this Temple and in three days I'll put it back together."
20-22 They were indignant: "It took forty-six years to build this Temple, and you're going to rebuild it in three days?" But Jesus was talking about his body as the Temple. Later, after he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered he had said this. They then put two and two together and believed both what was written in Scripture and what Jesus had said.".
I realized while reading these verses that I have years of anger and bitterness in my heart towards my Daddy. My Dad had epilepsy. He had been on medication for as long as I could remember. Not long before he died, he told me that he was reading his Bible one morning and asked God to speak to him and show him what he wanted him to read. He opened up his Bible and read a verse telling him that he was healed. He believed he was healed and stopped taking his medication. He was looking into brain surgery, but refused to take any more medication. He did not believe the medicine was helping, because he was still having seizures. I have been so angry for years, because if he had taken his medication, he might be alive. I knew in the back of my mind that it was God's plan for him to die when he did, but it's easier to place blame than to accept the truth. Now I know that the verse might have meant that my Dad was going to be healed in heaven very soon and not here on earth.
Interesting things He is showing me right now. I'm learning that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want to be loved, doesn't mean they aren't loving you the best they can.